It's Oprah, you'd like them

The Big Give

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 11:11:44 -0400

People, Mother Oprah has been gone too long, but that doesn’t mean you — my fans — ever leave my mind. YOU are my lifeblood! As you can imagine, girlfriends, Oprah’s Big Give was taking up a good deal of my time.

As you’ve probably heard, the show will not be renewed.

At first I was down. REALLY down. But you know what? My mother always told me that when you’re down, concentrate on what you love. For me that’s touching my breasts. Touching THEM always elevates my spirits.

And people, even though my game show was a flop, something amazing has happened. The stress I’ve undergone seems to have made my already huge nipples even bigger. They’re marvelous and have grown to the size of cappucinno saucers. [They’re softer too]. You’d like them. I sure do. Talk about a big give, the Lord seems to have blessed me with the largest nipples on Earth.

And you know what… I’ve grown too.

Time Flies When You're Touching Them (And Campaigning)

Tue, 12 Feb 2008 16:46:40 -0500

It’s February, people, and I keep wondering where did the time go? Thanks for all the fan mail. I’m glad you all love my new blog and I apologize for my negligence. It’s been WAY too long since my last post, but as you know, I’ve been campaigning for Obama. Now, girlfriends, you know I did LOTS of soul-searching before endorsing Barak. My heart of hearts has long wanted to see a sister in the oval office. But come on people… I WILL BE the first lady president. Sorry Hillary. You’re still quite a lady.

I’d also like share a photo with you. Below is the grand prize winner of my “touching them” contest. We flew our lucky winner out to California and, people, he was just tickled to death. He got to touch them for the better part of an hour. He LOVED them and said he’d never seen such enormous nipples. You’d like them too. I promise.

Next up, I’ve got a surprise bigger than my nipples!! Remember when I gave 276 audience members new cars? In a date to be announced, I’ll be letting my audience members, yes all of them, touch THEM. Stay tuned people, it’s going to be crazy.

Photo

Tue, 12 Feb 2008 16:18:31 -0500

The Gift of Fear

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 11:42:09 -0500

I had a guest on recently who talked about the “gift of fear.” People, the things you fear have NO POWER. It’s the fear itself that can bind you. On my last show, I experienced fear. I always like to touch them (especially the left one) backstage before we begin filming. They’re great. You’d like them. Touching them, has become a ritual. I’m superstitous about doing it now.

I was running late yesterday and didn’t have the opportunity to spend any time with them before the show. When I came out to greet the audience I felt fear gripping me. Could I do a good show, I wondered, since I hadn’t spent anytime touching them backstage.

You know what , I just went with it. And since I was scared, I broke out of my COMFORT ZONE. It was the gift of fear. But believe me, people, that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop touching them before shows. Life’s too short for that!

Photo

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 11:24:15 -0500

tried something different tonight, audience

Fri, 25 Jan 2008 21:48:05 -0500

I normally start the night by cupping the right one first. it just feels more supple to me. (some people have said it’s larger but that makes me angry b/c it’s not). I began with the left and it was really, well, fantastic and different.

Photo

Fri, 25 Jan 2008 21:32:23 -0500

This big, you'd like them

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 21:57:59 -0500

That picture of me below… that’s me showing you, my fans, how big my nipples are. They’re bigger than my head. You’d like them. My huge nipples tell me which books to recommend.

Photo

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 21:54:09 -0500

me again

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 22:42:33 -0500

And yes, they are nice. My boobs that is. I’m still fondling them. Now with lotion. they are yuuuuuuummmmy! you’d like them

Photo

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 22:35:22 -0500

My boobs

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 22:33:32 -0500

I’m fondling them. They are sof. Too sof to have a “t” at the end. You’d like them.