It's Oprah, you'd like them

Time Flies When You're Touching Them (And Campaigning)

It’s February, people, and I keep wondering where did the time go? Thanks for all the fan mail. I’m glad you all love my new blog and I apologize for my negligence. It’s been WAY too long since my last post, but as you know, I’ve been campaigning for Obama. Now, girlfriends, you know I did LOTS of soul-searching before endorsing Barak. My heart of hearts has long wanted to see a sister in the oval office. But come on people… I WILL BE the first lady president. Sorry Hillary. You’re still quite a lady. 

I’d also like share a photo with you. Below is the grand prize winner of my “touching them” contest. We flew our lucky winner out to California and, people, he was just tickled to death. He got to touch them for the better part of an hour. He LOVED them and said he’d never seen such enormous nipples. You’d like them too. I promise. 

Next up, I’ve got a surprise bigger than my nipples!! Remember when I gave 276 audience members new cars? In a date to be announced, I’ll be letting my audience members, yes all of them, touch THEM. Stay tuned people, it’s going to be crazy.